As Above/So Below

Tonight I saw As Above/So Below, starring Perdita Weeks and Ben Feldman.

Scarlett (Weeks) is a woman on a mission to find the philosopher's stone and prove that it's real. She convinces her ex-boyfriend (?) George (Feldman) to accompany her on the exploration, along with a shaky cameraman and some locals she finds to lead the way, who claim to know their way around.

If I forgot to mention, said stone is supposedly buried deep beneath the earth in the ever-creepy Paris catacombs. Hidden far beyond where the tour guides take travelers.

As they descend, the music gets louder and the lines get cheesier. I'm delighted to jump a few times in the name of "gotcha" reveals, but the cues were so obviously laid out there was no way they were ever going to be a surprise.

The 'love' story, if it could be called that, doesn't have time to develop because the camera isn't still long enough to to concentrate on the characters. Except when they're getting scared, or hurt, or discovered for the first time.

And the claustrophobia. If you have it, don't go near this. If you don't have it, you may develop it. Either way, enduring such a directionless, predictable film is not worth your time.

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