On Sunday I saw Fifty Shades Freed, starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan.
In this third (excruciating) installment of the most popular worst trilogy ever made, Anastasia (Johnson) is married to Christian (Dornan) and has to navigate their new life, which includes taking an extravagant honeymoon to France; preparing a new mansion/love nest; 'working' as a book editor and fending off the attacks of her disgruntled former boss (who harbors a secret that involves her husband).
Before you question why I even sat through this, let me provide you two reasons:
1) The films are set in Seattle, near where I live and work, so I enjoy seeing "home" on the screen.
2) My friend's birthday is this week and she planned a girls' night around the film to celebrate.
See—I had no choice. But no, this wasn't good.
Was it fun to hoot and holler at during the saucy scenes? Sure. Was it great to see beautiful scenes of France and Washington? Absolutely.
But dear God, that dialog couldn't be worse. Honestly, Ms. Johnson and Mr. Dornan should get some kind of award just for keeping a straight face during what are supposed to be "dramatic" scenes. They are amazing.
And for pure visual pleasure, I still think we should have had more of Christian than Anastasia, but that's not how it played out.
At least in a few moments Anastasia truly exerted her girl power and took control of her situations.
Small consolation for such a dud.
~~~
Showing posts with label Dakota Johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dakota Johnson. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 13, 2018
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Fifty Shades Darker
Thursday night I saw Fifty Shades Darker, starring Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson.
Life hasn't been the same for Christian (Dornan) since Anastasia (Johnson) left him. His intense need for sexual domination and tendency to "punish" his partners was too much for her to take. Ever since she gave him up, he's been trying to win her back.
Anastasia's moved on to focus on her career. She's now a personal assistant in the publishing industry, doing her best to learn the business.
When Christian tells Anastasia that he would rather give up his extreme sexual practices than live without her, they begin taking the steps (and showers, and romps) toward reconciliation.
There are aviation accidents, jackass bosses, psychopathic ex-girlfriends, domineering former sexual teachers, fancy boats, birthday parties and pleasure devices sprinkled amongst gorgeous money shots of Seattle.
But above all else, there's sex. If it's not in every scene, it's being talked about or imagined. The dialog is predictably laughable (but still better than the book) and the actors are incredibly appealing to watch, smirking as if they're in on the joke, laughing all the way to the bank.
You may not leave the film thinking you saw anything remotely cinematic, but you are bound to be ... satisfied.
~~
Life hasn't been the same for Christian (Dornan) since Anastasia (Johnson) left him. His intense need for sexual domination and tendency to "punish" his partners was too much for her to take. Ever since she gave him up, he's been trying to win her back.
Anastasia's moved on to focus on her career. She's now a personal assistant in the publishing industry, doing her best to learn the business.
When Christian tells Anastasia that he would rather give up his extreme sexual practices than live without her, they begin taking the steps (and showers, and romps) toward reconciliation.
There are aviation accidents, jackass bosses, psychopathic ex-girlfriends, domineering former sexual teachers, fancy boats, birthday parties and pleasure devices sprinkled amongst gorgeous money shots of Seattle.
But above all else, there's sex. If it's not in every scene, it's being talked about or imagined. The dialog is predictably laughable (but still better than the book) and the actors are incredibly appealing to watch, smirking as if they're in on the joke, laughing all the way to the bank.
You may not leave the film thinking you saw anything remotely cinematic, but you are bound to be ... satisfied.
~~
Monday, October 05, 2015
Black Mass
On Saturday I saw Black Mass, starring Johnny Depp and Joel Edgerton.
Jimmy "Whitey" Bulger (Depp) loved his mother deeply. He was kind to old ladies. He was a doting father. He even took care of an abandoned cat in the neighborhood.
All of those things are true, as is the fact he was a malicious killer who terrorized the streets of Boston in the '70s and '80s as an Irish mob boss. This film tells of his decades evading justice as he used a childhood friend in the FBI to cover for him.
Spoiler alert: They're both now ending their days in prison.
Before they were caught, they each had a good run, though. Jimmy, defending his beloved Southie territory using whatever means necessary, and John Connolly (Joel Edgerton) climbing the ranks of the FBI by claiming Jimmy was a big-time informant.
Depp is icy cold as the brooding Bulger, always calm and collected even in the most gruesome times of violence. Edgerton is obnoxious and twitchy—apparently incredibly accurate—in his portrayal of Connolly, who in a weird, warped way always idolized Bulger. The attacks are frequent and the blood flows freely, but if you can anticipate when to look away, the other aspects of the movie will keep you glued to the screen.
In addition to the two leads, Benedict Cumberbatch, Kevin Bacon, Julianne Nicholson and Dakota Johnson all do a fine job in their supporting roles, but the real stand-out for me was Peter Sarsgaard as cocaine addict Brian Halloran. His brief time on screen was so memorable, he was who we were talking about as we left the theater.
The movie (and its real-life horrors) will stay with you for hours, maybe days after you see it. If you're tough enough to see this, be sure to stay to the very end where they show footage of the real criminals.
It's comforting to know that many of the people involved were in fact brought to justice, but the magnitude of the crimes still haunt.
~~~
Jimmy "Whitey" Bulger (Depp) loved his mother deeply. He was kind to old ladies. He was a doting father. He even took care of an abandoned cat in the neighborhood.
All of those things are true, as is the fact he was a malicious killer who terrorized the streets of Boston in the '70s and '80s as an Irish mob boss. This film tells of his decades evading justice as he used a childhood friend in the FBI to cover for him.
Spoiler alert: They're both now ending their days in prison.
Before they were caught, they each had a good run, though. Jimmy, defending his beloved Southie territory using whatever means necessary, and John Connolly (Joel Edgerton) climbing the ranks of the FBI by claiming Jimmy was a big-time informant.
Depp is icy cold as the brooding Bulger, always calm and collected even in the most gruesome times of violence. Edgerton is obnoxious and twitchy—apparently incredibly accurate—in his portrayal of Connolly, who in a weird, warped way always idolized Bulger. The attacks are frequent and the blood flows freely, but if you can anticipate when to look away, the other aspects of the movie will keep you glued to the screen.
In addition to the two leads, Benedict Cumberbatch, Kevin Bacon, Julianne Nicholson and Dakota Johnson all do a fine job in their supporting roles, but the real stand-out for me was Peter Sarsgaard as cocaine addict Brian Halloran. His brief time on screen was so memorable, he was who we were talking about as we left the theater.
The movie (and its real-life horrors) will stay with you for hours, maybe days after you see it. If you're tough enough to see this, be sure to stay to the very end where they show footage of the real criminals.
It's comforting to know that many of the people involved were in fact brought to justice, but the magnitude of the crimes still haunt.
~~~
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Fifty Shades of Grey
Tonight I saw Fifty Shades of Grey, starring Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson.
Those who were able to make it through the not-so-well-written book know the story: a handsome Seattle billionaire becomes enamored with a virginal college student and requests that she become his submissive. There is paperwork and playrooms, and all sorts of kinky toys.
At the heart of the "plot," Christian Grey (Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Johnson) play an extended game of cat and mouse, each giving up parts of themselves in pursuit of the other, while deciding whether or not to stay the course.
The film stays pretty faithful to the book, which means there's really not a lot to it, but that is no fault of the actors, who do the absolute best with what they are given.
Dornan is like a young Colin Firth, endearing and doe-eyed; Johnson just sweet and innocent enough to be convincing. Their chemistry is strong and they sell the love/lust debacle as best as could be expected (though I could have done with less of Johnson's bony rib cage and more of Dornan in general).
But the dialog is ridiculous (again, faithful to the book) and the pace is painfully (no pun intended) slow. The only saving grace is that if you view it as pure camp, it's actually pretty fun.
Go into the film not planning to take one tiny moment seriously and you will laugh sincerely as you blush your way through the (not so) explicit sex scenes. Cheer every time you see a shot of Seattle (the local audience I saw it with did) and chuckle when the pillow talk is nonsense.
You'll have fun with it (and maybe even anticipate the sequel).
~~~
Those who were able to make it through the not-so-well-written book know the story: a handsome Seattle billionaire becomes enamored with a virginal college student and requests that she become his submissive. There is paperwork and playrooms, and all sorts of kinky toys.
At the heart of the "plot," Christian Grey (Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Johnson) play an extended game of cat and mouse, each giving up parts of themselves in pursuit of the other, while deciding whether or not to stay the course.
The film stays pretty faithful to the book, which means there's really not a lot to it, but that is no fault of the actors, who do the absolute best with what they are given.
Dornan is like a young Colin Firth, endearing and doe-eyed; Johnson just sweet and innocent enough to be convincing. Their chemistry is strong and they sell the love/lust debacle as best as could be expected (though I could have done with less of Johnson's bony rib cage and more of Dornan in general).
But the dialog is ridiculous (again, faithful to the book) and the pace is painfully (no pun intended) slow. The only saving grace is that if you view it as pure camp, it's actually pretty fun.
Go into the film not planning to take one tiny moment seriously and you will laugh sincerely as you blush your way through the (not so) explicit sex scenes. Cheer every time you see a shot of Seattle (the local audience I saw it with did) and chuckle when the pillow talk is nonsense.
You'll have fun with it (and maybe even anticipate the sequel).
~~~
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