On Sunday I saw Fifty Shades Freed, starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan.
In this third (excruciating) installment of the most popular worst trilogy ever made, Anastasia (Johnson) is married to Christian (Dornan) and has to navigate their new life, which includes taking an extravagant honeymoon to France; preparing a new mansion/love nest; 'working' as a book editor and fending off the attacks of her disgruntled former boss (who harbors a secret that involves her husband).
Before you question why I even sat through this, let me provide you two reasons:
1) The films are set in Seattle, near where I live and work, so I enjoy seeing "home" on the screen.
2) My friend's birthday is this week and she planned a girls' night around the film to celebrate.
See—I had no choice. But no, this wasn't good.
Was it fun to hoot and holler at during the saucy scenes? Sure. Was it great to see beautiful scenes of France and Washington? Absolutely.
But dear God, that dialog couldn't be worse. Honestly, Ms. Johnson and Mr. Dornan should get some kind of award just for keeping a straight face during what are supposed to be "dramatic" scenes. They are amazing.
And for pure visual pleasure, I still think we should have had more of Christian than Anastasia, but that's not how it played out.
At least in a few moments Anastasia truly exerted her girl power and took control of her situations.
Small consolation for such a dud.
~~~
Showing posts with label Jamie Dornan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jamie Dornan. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 13, 2018
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Fifty Shades Darker
Thursday night I saw Fifty Shades Darker, starring Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson.
Life hasn't been the same for Christian (Dornan) since Anastasia (Johnson) left him. His intense need for sexual domination and tendency to "punish" his partners was too much for her to take. Ever since she gave him up, he's been trying to win her back.
Anastasia's moved on to focus on her career. She's now a personal assistant in the publishing industry, doing her best to learn the business.
When Christian tells Anastasia that he would rather give up his extreme sexual practices than live without her, they begin taking the steps (and showers, and romps) toward reconciliation.
There are aviation accidents, jackass bosses, psychopathic ex-girlfriends, domineering former sexual teachers, fancy boats, birthday parties and pleasure devices sprinkled amongst gorgeous money shots of Seattle.
But above all else, there's sex. If it's not in every scene, it's being talked about or imagined. The dialog is predictably laughable (but still better than the book) and the actors are incredibly appealing to watch, smirking as if they're in on the joke, laughing all the way to the bank.
You may not leave the film thinking you saw anything remotely cinematic, but you are bound to be ... satisfied.
~~
Life hasn't been the same for Christian (Dornan) since Anastasia (Johnson) left him. His intense need for sexual domination and tendency to "punish" his partners was too much for her to take. Ever since she gave him up, he's been trying to win her back.
Anastasia's moved on to focus on her career. She's now a personal assistant in the publishing industry, doing her best to learn the business.
When Christian tells Anastasia that he would rather give up his extreme sexual practices than live without her, they begin taking the steps (and showers, and romps) toward reconciliation.
There are aviation accidents, jackass bosses, psychopathic ex-girlfriends, domineering former sexual teachers, fancy boats, birthday parties and pleasure devices sprinkled amongst gorgeous money shots of Seattle.
But above all else, there's sex. If it's not in every scene, it's being talked about or imagined. The dialog is predictably laughable (but still better than the book) and the actors are incredibly appealing to watch, smirking as if they're in on the joke, laughing all the way to the bank.
You may not leave the film thinking you saw anything remotely cinematic, but you are bound to be ... satisfied.
~~
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Fifty Shades of Grey
Tonight I saw Fifty Shades of Grey, starring Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson.
Those who were able to make it through the not-so-well-written book know the story: a handsome Seattle billionaire becomes enamored with a virginal college student and requests that she become his submissive. There is paperwork and playrooms, and all sorts of kinky toys.
At the heart of the "plot," Christian Grey (Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Johnson) play an extended game of cat and mouse, each giving up parts of themselves in pursuit of the other, while deciding whether or not to stay the course.
The film stays pretty faithful to the book, which means there's really not a lot to it, but that is no fault of the actors, who do the absolute best with what they are given.
Dornan is like a young Colin Firth, endearing and doe-eyed; Johnson just sweet and innocent enough to be convincing. Their chemistry is strong and they sell the love/lust debacle as best as could be expected (though I could have done with less of Johnson's bony rib cage and more of Dornan in general).
But the dialog is ridiculous (again, faithful to the book) and the pace is painfully (no pun intended) slow. The only saving grace is that if you view it as pure camp, it's actually pretty fun.
Go into the film not planning to take one tiny moment seriously and you will laugh sincerely as you blush your way through the (not so) explicit sex scenes. Cheer every time you see a shot of Seattle (the local audience I saw it with did) and chuckle when the pillow talk is nonsense.
You'll have fun with it (and maybe even anticipate the sequel).
~~~
Those who were able to make it through the not-so-well-written book know the story: a handsome Seattle billionaire becomes enamored with a virginal college student and requests that she become his submissive. There is paperwork and playrooms, and all sorts of kinky toys.
At the heart of the "plot," Christian Grey (Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Johnson) play an extended game of cat and mouse, each giving up parts of themselves in pursuit of the other, while deciding whether or not to stay the course.
The film stays pretty faithful to the book, which means there's really not a lot to it, but that is no fault of the actors, who do the absolute best with what they are given.
Dornan is like a young Colin Firth, endearing and doe-eyed; Johnson just sweet and innocent enough to be convincing. Their chemistry is strong and they sell the love/lust debacle as best as could be expected (though I could have done with less of Johnson's bony rib cage and more of Dornan in general).
But the dialog is ridiculous (again, faithful to the book) and the pace is painfully (no pun intended) slow. The only saving grace is that if you view it as pure camp, it's actually pretty fun.
Go into the film not planning to take one tiny moment seriously and you will laugh sincerely as you blush your way through the (not so) explicit sex scenes. Cheer every time you see a shot of Seattle (the local audience I saw it with did) and chuckle when the pillow talk is nonsense.
You'll have fun with it (and maybe even anticipate the sequel).
~~~
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